Last week, I was stunned to learn that The Speakmans mentioned me in their “Making the Change” podcast. This particular episode, “Setting Life Goals”, was all about the importance of making life goals. If you have not heard of The Speakmans before they are a married couple, authors and the world’s leading, life change therapists. I first met the Speakmans a few years ago, when I attended their “Upgrade your Life” workshop, an event aimed at tackling low self-esteem, phobias, anxiety and other similar issues. I had attended their workshop to try and overcome my low self-esteem issues, something which was caused by the childhood bullying I had suffered since my early school years.
At the end of the day-long workshop, we were told to write down our life goals, things we hoped to achieve in our lifetime, no matter how crazy or unattainable we thought they seemed. I thought about my life-long passion for writing and tentatively wrote on my sheet of paper, how I hoped to write and publish my own books. This dream stems back to my early years, when I used writing as a coping mechanism for the bullying I endured and I hoped one day to write a book that could empower and inspire others. For me, writing was always a way to channel my emotions and also to create an ideal world for myself, a world free of the fear I suffered and the sadness I felt. The thought of writing and publishing a book seemed so far into the realms of impossibility, that I felt not only very silly for writing it down, but even sillier for believing, even for a split second, that it was possible. However, I wrote it all down anyway, as instructed.
I felt that in order to achieve my goal I needed to start taking responsibility for it and so I told my husband, that I was going to write a book, something I had never shared with anyone before. His response was “Of course, everyone wants to write a book, doesn’t mean they can actually write one”. I had decided, that day at the workshop, that I was going to humour myself and do it anyway and so I set about writing. After about 4 months of writing in between school pick-ups, afterschool clubs, general mummy duties and many late nights, the book was finished, all 109,205 words of it. I had done it: I had written my first book, and I was over the moon.
The next test was asking for my husbands’ opinion. My husband is brutally honest in his opinions, if he doesn’t like something, or he thinks something is not good, he will tell you straight, so I must say I was very apprehensive about asking him to read it. Nevertheless, I handed over the manuscript bit by bit and he would read it on his commute to and from work, never giving anything away about what he thought. After about a week, he finally finished the last few pages and handed them back. I stood rooted to the spot, waiting for his feedback, and all he said was “Well, you definitely have a talent for writing and one day one of your books will change someone’s life”. At this point, I had achieved part of my goal, I had written a book, something I never thought possible, and I was only a few steps away from publishing it.
Big Little Voice Colours the Grey was not the book I originally set out to write, when I wrote my life goals on that piece of paper on that cold winter day. It was a culmination of factors that led to its creation, it was thanks to the confidence instilled in me by The Speakmans, the honest opinion of my husband, and my son’s experience with bullying. I desperately wanted to change my son’s life, make it better, and give him hope. I could still hear my husband’s words “One day one of your books will change someone’s life” and so I took all the empowering words I had ever told my son and made them into a storybook. In doing so, I believe I have changed his life and made it better, I hope this book also has a positive impact on anyone else who reads it.
If this whole experience has taught me anything, it is to never lose sight of your dreams, because it may be your dream that ends up changing someone else’s life!
Listen to the full podcast HERE
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